I used to blame past experiences as to why I didn’t understand why people would consume a poison that does so much more harm than good to the body. The older I get and the more I think to the past experiences that may have formulated my original opinion, I quickly realise that the opinions I now have are that of my own.

I never understood when people told me they needed it to have a good time. I never understood when they told me they felt better when the day after they would wake up and tell me the complete opposite. I never understood how this was a deemed as ‘having a good time’ being unaware of your actions and not in control of ones self. I never understood when people said “never again” and then do the complete opposite. I never understood the culture of out doing one another by consuming more. “Do people really find this cool” he ponders.

Why is this the culture? Why are people still trying to fit in? What is herd mentality? How are you able to break free? Are you acting on your own accord or are you afraid of being alone? Are you afraid of not being accepted? Are you filling a void?

–

What is it that I am afraid of?

What are my own insecurities?

Why is this tough for me?

Who am I to impose my own ideologies on another?

Is it trust?

Is it because I’m afraid?

Have I seen too much?

Who am I trying to protect?

Where is the middle ground?

Dare to…

3:50am. He lies down and rests his heavy head on the pillow, slowly closing his eyes and allowing the remainder of light to become complete darkness. He starts to notice things. The cars driving around at this hour, the insects socialising at night and the cool breeze coming through the window brushing onto his skin. Deep thoughts. One after the other, rushing through his mind. They won’t stop. He couldn’t move. He was stuck. He tried to move but he couldn’t. Breathing was slowly becoming somewhat difficult, as if someone was pushing a heavy weight onto his chest. His arms and legs were paralysed. He’s whole body starting to heat up, he could feel the sweat starting to arise throughout. He looked at the time. 2:54am. 3:17am. 3.30am. Were he’s eyes deceiving him? Continue reading →

No Longer Special

I no longer look forward to it. Not like I use to when I was younger. What changed? It use to feel so special when I was a kid. I would get all kind of jittery feelings when it was near because I knew that it would be my day. But now it just feels like any other day of the week, just plain and ordinary. Maybe it’s my lack of motivation to actually organise anything. Through the years i’ve noticed people spend all this time into planning parties for themselves and I just think are people turning up to the party to actually celebrate the special day with you, or are they just rocking up for the free food. But then again it may be just in the way I look at things.

Perception. Isn’t that just a beautiful word. Its all in the way you understand things. If you think about it why are we the ones that get presents on our birthdays? We didn’t really do anything to be born. Shouldn’t it the parents who get presents from us for putting in the effort, especially the mums that have to go through all that pain. That’s just my insight.

Peace. I’m out.

#19.

Shut it down ♪

Trying to take you out girl, hope you’re not too busy
and if there’s nothing wrong, got this little song
for you to get ready to
put those heels on and work it girl
let that mirror show you what you’re doing
put that dress on and work it kind of vicious
like somebody’s taking pictures

New Discoveries

Found my new favourite clothing store today in Newtown called “Maple”, everything about this store was perfect. Although I have walked past occasionally I have never walked in, but there is a first time for everything.The whole vibe and look of the store was simple and minimalistic which is what I loved about it, everything was organised and the colour scheme of the store just tied everything together…
Continue reading →